Pro Se Divorce – Is it a good or bad thing?

The South Carolina Bar website now offers instructions and forms that allow individuals to represent themselves in family court regarding divorces on one year continuous separation or ‘no fault’ divorces as they are commonly called. This “Self-Represented Litigant Simple Divorce Packet” is available for both Plaintiffs and Defendants involved in the litigation. There are differing opinions on providing the forms online, however, it will definitely be useful to those who feel comfortable navigating their way through the legal system. Are there any thoughts or opinions regarding the forms? Has anyone used them?

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14 Responses to Pro Se Divorce – Is it a good or bad thing?

  1. Joel says:

    I agree, it really simplifies the process for divorces that have no foreseen problems. But for other couples, they would still need a lawyer. I think it’s better that way.

    • jack says:

      I marry my husadband he was E-2 till I supadport and help his goal to become an offiadcer 04. After 20 yrs of maradried told me want a dirovce,we have 3 good kids 2 are gone the younger still in senior​.im stay home mom n dad since my husadband gone all the time.…and when his home he gets what ever he wants his the king.back masadsage ‚foot masadsage cut toeadnail do everyadthing for him cook meal he wants even I’m in the midaddle of laundry..I even stop my degree become a nurse… to help the kids grow in good inviadroadment and avoid payading babysitter..I’ve been devoted for him..even though I found out from him that he have couadple one night stand in difadferadent port…I was upset. But I foradgive him because of I love him,but someadtimes when emoadtional abuse enter is getadting too ‚he conadtrol all the money the day we married,have to get pt job to get grocery,he send get a job “”“MY money is for bills. Your is for gro​cery​.no comadmend got a job.he never say OUR. in short he wants dirovce but he lost a lot of things..Now do you think WE don’t deserve to be part of his retirement.….I been devoted to thisa0man…

  2. Marjorie V. says:

    Even though this form and procedures are available, it would still be a good idea to seek legal counsel even if it is an uncontested divorce.

    • Sofie says:

      I am in the process of dorivcading after nearly 35 years of maradriage. In the early years, we only made ends meet because I was the main breadadwinadner. Being always on the “ever higher goals” track, he took one assignadment after another, resultading in numeradous moves well sooner than the traaddiadtional 2–4 years between PCS’s (we were in our tenth home when we celadeadbrated our tenth anniveradsary). I can promise you my career was more than hinaddered by his career. So here I am 56 years old, with no work expeadriadence since the 1980s. My career, elecadtriadcal design/draftsman (with no eduadcaadtion, havading learned only by carading trainading at work) does not even exist anyadmore since comadputaders draw betadter and faster than we ever could. After chiladdren he would never supadport my even being away from the house long enough or proadvidading the funds for me to take a sinadgle course to begin a coladlege eduadcaadtion. After pulling strings, to have himadself ruled 60% disadabled (50 of which is because of snorading veradiadfied by the necadesadsary use of a CPAP machine which by the way he only used three weeks) he retired, moved three hours away and proadceeded to “hide his six figadure income” at his new job. Thank the good Lord for a 28 year old lawyer who saw right through his offerading my $1500 a month for three years, or until he felt like quitadting work, whichever occurred sooner, while his gross income turned out to be over $16,000 pera0month!

  3. Tony says:

    Haven’t had the chance to use it, fortunately. But as long as it is clear and simple, then I don’t see anything wrong with it.

    • Hilda says:

      I did work when I could, cleanading houses, cutadting hair, even pickading potaadtoes. Big chagne from workading in denadtal office but it helped. I also had opporadtuadniadties to be out and party or have affairs but I stayed home w/ the kids. When we got back to the states, he took up w/ a Baradbie doll DOD worker and the kids & I were forced to move off base. Everyadone includading his boss knew of the affair even his boss but I was the last to know. After going through the chain of comadmand and nothading was done, I felt helpadless, angry and frusadtrated, but in the long run it worked out because if they did do someadthing, he would not have been able to retire, and I would not have been able to draw part of his retireadment. They were actuadally lookading out for me. __ You can also ask quesadtions to the base legal office and make sure you include this retireadment poradtion in your devorce decree. By the way my own lawyer told me I was still attracadtive enough to get remaradried within afew years anyadway. I gave a few choice words and left, its’ a strugadgle but be strong, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    • Raquel says:

      Woman to woman. Ladies, stop askading what you can get from these men. Get a job, learn how to save money, and for heavadens sake… pay your own bills. Now, if you stayed at home beusace you had NO other choice to, ie, to take care of muladtiadple kids or were moved around OCONUS every year, that’s one thing. But for you ladies who had all the chance in the world to conadtribute to the houseadhold finanadcially, and decided instead to sit on your butts and spend, spend, spend, then you deserve nothading out of a divorce, miladiadtary or not. For those who sat and got fat, you deserve to leave with what you came in with, and if that’s nothading, then so be it. So many times are these men and women of the armed forces raked over the coals by the courts. I’ve heard and read so many horadriadble stoadries that to be quite frank, I’m not sure how some of these judges sleep at night. if you had a job while you were maradried, then you had all the time in the world to conadtribute to your own retireadment, just like he conadtributed to his. If you didn’t conadtribute, then that’s no one’s fault buta0yours.

  4. Morgan G. says:

    Even in the form itself, there is language that says that you should seek legal counsel when you file anything legal. It also disclaims that the form does not aim to substitute legal advise.

  5. Keith says:

    I think pro se divorces work best when you and your spouse just don’t care and just want the divorce to happen. That is usually not the case in most divorces, you tend to become selfish and vengeful. So while a pro se divorce works on paper, I really don’t think that it would be good for you at all.

    • Son says:

      Good luck to all of you seradvice memadbers! My boyfriend has been diocevrd now for 3 years lost 47% of his retireadment, they had diocevrd and then remaradried 2 years later, but the court did not recadogadnize that divorce and awarded her based on a 27 year maradriage (which is unjust). 1 minor child he has to pay her child supadport for, even though he has the child the majoradity of the time. He had to pay her lawyer, and he own as well. He had to pay for the court appointed psyadchoadlogadiadcal evaladuadaadtions. He has to pay off of one of her credit cards she maxed with cash payadouts to $15,000, although his name was never on the credit card. He has to keep insuradance on her thru triadcare. She, by court order, is named on his SBP. He got the house. She was workading 2 jobs, one just a part time when she wanted to type thing. 3 years later he is still payading on this divorce. And she has remaradried, he still has to pay it all. She remaradried after knowading a man for 3 months. I sinadcerely wish all seradvice memadbers much luck, it is amazading how the peoadple you once loved can sudaddenly turn into a gold digadger. I will never marry him. I appreadciadate his seradvice, and do not want anyadthing from him like that. I find that I am quitea0rare.

  6. Nicky says:

    I agree with what you all have said. I personally think that having a lawyer can also act as a buffer of sorts. Your lawyer can advise you not to act this way or that way, and can protect your best interests.

    • MiDa says:

      Jim, you need to get an attoradney as they should be able to atctah that retireadment pay for the child supadport she owes you. You can also go after her income tax refund if she has one. If she works, you can guaradnishee her wages and she pays the attoradney fees. That is a nice way to go, doesn’t give you a lot of money but she pays you and the attoradney and it reduces very litadtle from her fees and it often makes them realadize they need to pay up. my sisadter bought her a car with the back supadport after she started garadnishadment when he didn’t pay for years. It made her feel satadisadfied about it. He only paid what she paid in day care for her to work. Didn’t cover any houseadhold expenses. but you need to see an attoradney to coladlect. Are you sayading she gets your disadabiladity rather than the amount that is taxadable. My QUADRO is taxadable to me. The only difadferadence for disadabiltiy is that itis tax free. You have the full retireadment money less the 20% and 30% of yours is tax free. I would hope that all of hers is taxadable and she is not getadting your disadabiladity poradtion but from the regaduadlar pension.

  7. Marty says:

    Even if you are going pro se, you should try to review your legal papers and documents with a qualified divorce lawyers. This is to make sure that you have covered everything you need to cover. What’s the point of going pro se to save money and then find yourself needing to go back to court because there are some matters you didn’t resolve in your initial run?

  8. Huzaifah says:

    So I guess someadone else is raisading your kids too. Because you see, mine go to school like I’m sure yours do too which means that those teachaders are raisading your kids as well as mine. I work full time, in fact I actuadally make more then my husadband. I CHOOSE to work and betadter mylesf.Howadever, my kids go to school, do their after school activadiadties, then I or my husadband pick them up where they come home to eat a home cooked meal just about every night since we don’t believe in pre processed foods and we actuadally grow and can an organic garadden everya0year.Stop tryading to make youradself feel betadter about advancading his career and how much betadter you are for focusading your entire life on your husadband and kids…and then dare be bitadter when you have nothading to fall back on in the event of a divorce.I have done the funcadtions, been the FRG leader and done all those “spousely” things you claim have earned you his retireadment but in no way do I think I’m entiadtled to his penadsion. Makading the peradsonal choice to have kids does not mean you can’t conadtinue a career or have a life of youra0own

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